Crush Crush - Cookie Clicker Meets Dating Sim?

Title: Crush Crush!

Type of Media: Video Game

Release Date: February 9,2016

Source Material: None, Unless you count cookie clicker which I played one time, I think.

Basic Summary: Click your way into girls' hearts!

Characters: Cassie, Mio, Quill, Elle, Iro, Bonnibel, Fumi, Bearverly, Nina, Alpha, Pamu, Luna, and Eva. I dunno that they actually merit descriptions.

Plot: You can play as either a boy or a girl and choose some basic character traits. You meet the above girls in various ridiculous situations. You destroy their lives and must beg for their forgiveness by clicking things. And then they fall in love with you. It's not exactly a deep, thought-provoking story.

Accessibility: Babies can play this game...although they won't exactly know what they're clicking on.

Controls/UI: Crush Crush is broken up into a game screen with convenient tabs. Click buttons!

 The base screen that shows the girl you're currently romancing.

 The job screen, which shows you how your energy is divided up into specific jobs, which jobs           you've maxed out, and how much each of those jobs add to your total earnings.

        The hobby screen, which shows which traits you've invested energy in and how much time you have until you reach the next level.

 (The stats screen, which shows total earnings, allows customization, and where you can see all of your multipliers.)

Thoughts: Crush Crush isn't a great game, but it's a lot better than most clickers. The resource management aspect makes it relatively engaging. There's also a little bit of story with each girl and they have personalized comments when they receive gifts and clicks. I like seeing the artwork you get as you progress through the relationships. And you can click the boobs! Who doesn't like that? It does get frustrating to wait for funds to build up and to reach the level requirements. And then what looks like a huge amount of cash gets blown very quickly. Almost too quickly. You can unlock ways to make the meters fill faster, buy more timeblocks to allow for more actions at once, and time skips to get a build-up of resources without waiting in real time. Obviously the point of these types of games is an exercise in patience, but patience can wear thin if it feels like you're going nowhere. Prestiging is the easiest way to build resources as it increases your speed multipliers, making all meters permanently fill faster, but this won't make a huge difference the farther you are in the game.

Final Review: Crush Crush isn't a game for everybody. It's dumb fun if you like something that doesn't take much effort. So while it's probably not going to be your cup of tea, it IS worth checking out on Steam because it is totally free. I haven't spent any money on the game and I've done pretty well for myself.

What is this?

Hello there, stranger! 

I'm V, a fan of critique channels and creators on YouTube like Your Movie Sucks, Nostalgia Critic, Jim Sterling (our Lord and Savior), and Jordan Underneath. If you like people complaining about stuff, I can do that. But I will try to be fair.

So what type of stuff do I review? 

Basically anything from movies to video games and even live events like concerts and conventions. And maybe the odd product or food. But mostly media.

How do I review stuff? 

I'm going to attempt to have a uniform format that addresses content, presentation, and accessibility. I'll break things down into sections that will probably look something like this:

         Title; Blog Post

         Type of Media: Internet Page

         Release Date: 9/20/2016

         Source Material: None, I will also detail my familiarity with the source material if there is any.

         Basic Summary: A page on the internet about a random thing. Isn't that nice?

         Characters: Just me? I guess? I would hope I'm well-written

         Plot: It gets spoilery here!

         Accessibility: How many people can understand this piece of junk?

         Controls/UI: For products and video games and experience-based things

         Thoughts: The good, the bad, the possibly ranty.

         Final Review: Experience, don't do that. NO NUMBERS

I WILL NOT GIVE OUT NUMBERED SCORES FOR ANYTHING.

I personally believe that numbered scores are detrimental to the review process.

How current will my stuff be?

Erm...unless I start to get paid for this, expect release dates to be all over the map.

So yeah. Have fun! Or don't. I can't make you.